Shoveling snow sucks. That's putting it mildly. But alas, we all chose to live on Planet Hoth, so here are some alternatives to shoveling you may choose to employ. Also, you're welcome for the Star Wars reference.

TRAIN YOUR DOG

Yes, you can actually train your dog to shovel snow. Results may vary. If you have a little pocket-sized pooch, you might be out of luck.

USE A FLAMETHROWER

Flamethrowers are completely safe and easy to use. They pose no danger to the surrounding environment, and they can be purchased cheaply at most major retailers. Unless the information I've received is incorrect.

CHILD LABOR

Maybe you're fortunate enough to be at that age where you can blame your own laziness on "having a bad back." Thankfully, there's children. I think the sole purpose of having children is to make them do things you don't want to do. Don't have any? You can obtain some without setting off an Amber Alert. It's called a job. Just be aware that it's 2022 and their rates have increased drastically. Damn unions.

USE A HOVERBOARD

If you've got good core strength and feel comfortable on one of those fancy new hoverboards, you can let that device do most of the work. Just hold the shovel and lean forward. I'm uncoordinated and sometimes biff it stepping 6 inches onto a curb, so for me, this one is out.

WOOD IS GOOD

If you don't have a snowblower or a truck with a plow, just do what this Sylvan Beach man did: affix some random plywood to your vehicle and go to town. This guy deserves some major points for creativity.

DOWNGRADE TO AN APARTMENT

Take it from me: Apartment living is great. My landlord's gotta do all that snow removal crap. Just make sure it's in your lease.

With winter storm Landon looming, we'll all be looking for some shoveling alternatives to remove the white stuff. If you've got one of your own, we'd love to hear about it!

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