***DISCLAIMER: This post isn't meant to "cheer on" car accidents of any kind. Rather, it's a series of "what ifs" that would be, to this author, particularly amusing. It's baffling that nothing has been done to remedy this ongoing issue. 

Ah, the Onondaga Lake Parkway Bridge. The famously low railroad overpass in Salina, New York seems to claim a new victim every week. Despite the copious signage warning travelers of the bridge's 10-foot, 9-inch ceiling, every year tractor trailers get "a little off the top" overestimating its clearing. (The height of most tractor trailers is around 13-14 feet tall.)

Thankfully, when these accidents occur, it rarely results in serious injury, except maybe to the driver's pride. It's considered more of an embarrassment that the locals poke fun at. There've been plenty of memes made about the Onondaga Lake Parkway Bridge, and when an accident does occur, it generates whole new round of wry smiles and finger wags.


So for comedic purposes, let's take a look at 3 types of vehicles we'd love to see collide with the Onondaga Lake Parkway Bridge:


Oscar Mayer Wieners Vist Chicago school
Getty Images

Wikipedia lists the height of the Wienermobile at 11 feet, which is just a couple of inches over the bridge's threshold. That's probably enough to take the epidermis off this wiener. A "circumcision," you might say!


Esteem Education Co. via YouTube
Esteem Education Co. via YouTube

Much like Oscar Meyer's Wienermobile, the Goldfish Mobile was Pepperidge Farm's vehicular marketing tool to promote Goldfish snack crackers. Its purpose was to generate attention in public and give out free samples. It was 13 feet high, meaning this fish would certainly get scaled on the Onondaga Lake Parkway Bridge.


Frank Thomas & Mr. Peanut Surprise Softball Team Celebrate Four New Peanut Flavors
Timothy Hiatt

The Onondaga Lake Parkway Bridge would roast the Planters Nutmobile, or at least de-shell it. Think about how much fun the peanut gallery in Salina would have with those pics!

In the time it took you, the reader, to complete this article... another truck has collided with the bridge (maybe).

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