Dave Portnoy (aka El Presidente, aka the Chief of Content, aka the Quarantined Quarterback) has taste-tested and reviewed pizzas in Detroit, Boston, Philadelphia--one bite at a time--all across the U.S.

But these days, with the COVID-19 shelter in place edict, the QB of the "sports/smut" website BarstoolSports.com had to call an audible. He's still sampling pizzas, but now they're the frozen variety, and they arrive daily at his home. He's up to his eyeballs in pie, which sounds dirty but isn't.

He simply doesn't have enough freezer space for all the pizza. But he might have to carve out a little room for his new favorite, from right here in our corner of the world.

Below is his NSFW video review of the frozen pie from Wegmans. Profanity abounds here, like a string of F-bombs from rowdy Buffalo Bills fans landing on top of plastic tables in parking lots. Brace yourself and proceed, at the risk of being sent to your at-home version of HR for some sensitivity training:

Credit: Barstool Sports Screen Grab
Credit: Barstool Sports Screen Grab

The pizza is so good, El Presidente seems pleasantly surprised. He also discovers what we've known all along: Wegmans rules--at its headquarters in Rochester, at numerous locations in Central New York, and at over 100 stores in seven states.

The grocery giant scores an impressive 8.1, higher than every other frozen pizza entrant to this point. It's no surprise. Wegmans has landed on Forbes magazine's "100 Best Companies to Work For" list since it began in 1998, when Portnoy and Tom Brady were just wimpy Michigan undergrads fantasizing about Gisele Bündchen. Now look at them.

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Dave Coombs hosts middays (10A-3P) on 96.9 WOUR and can be emailed or subpoenaed here.

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