9 Bright Ideas for New Football Leagues: Why Stop with the XFL?
Americans have a regular smorgasbord of football options. But, there might be room for more.
The 2019-2020 NFL season concluded with Super Bowl 54 and six days later the rebooted XFL began. The upstart outfit, run by pro wrestling magnate Vince McMahon, has a faster pace and flashier rules. There are eight teams, scattered across the U.S. in big cities like Seattle, St. Louis, Tampa and New York, plus a Team 9, which continually trains players as immediate replacements in the event of injuries on the other eight teams.
The XFL joins the already established National Football League (NFL), Canadian Football League (CFL), Arena Football League (AFL), and Lingerie Football League--now the Extreme Football League (EFL). Plus, there are at least THREE other leagues launching in 2020. The Freedom Football League (FFL), National Gridiron League (NGL), and Pacific Pro Football (PPL) are all in development.
If the XFL succeeds this time around, and if these other leagues prosper, maybe it will prove our appetite for football is bottomless. So, we're here with some more brilliant concepts for pro football organizations.
An exciting combination of mixed martial arts and football. Special rules would include kickers who are allowed to kick both footballs and opponents, and certain plays where sacked quarterbacks could be held down by defenders for submissions.
The Doggie Football League, where quarterbacks can opt to use frisbees to complete passes to streaking canine receivers.
It's the Medium Football League, featuring only mid-sized players. The announcing teams would enlist a psychic to predict each play in advance. We're sensing a comeback here for the Amazing Kreskin, who could change his name to the Amazing Pigskin.
Swearing by players, fans and referees would be highly encouraged. Franchises limited to New York, New Jersey and Philadelphia. Big satellite ratings projected. Howard Stern exploring ownership possibilities.
The Dodgeball Football League. Played just like real football, except the object is for offensive and defensive players to avoid being struck by passes. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a football. ESPN Ocho already has the TV rights.
The Prison Football League. It worked in the movie The Longest Yard. Twice. Once with Burt Reynolds and once with Adam Sandler. The real-life version could boast some great talent.
The Baby Boomer Football League would feature long-retired superstars, some of whom would compete in wheelchairs.
A truly all-inclusive league, where everyone is welcome to play.
Sponsored by NyQuil. Live games would be played only in the overnight hours, with really slow players, to provide a sleeping aid for insomniacs.
Dave Coombs hosts middays on Classic Rock 96.9 WOUR, once kicked a field goal for the Syracuse Storm of the Empire Football League (EFL), and can be reached via email.