Last week the news broke that Cazenovia College was officially up for sale, after nearly 200 years as an educational institution in Central New York.

Naturally, this news was disheartening for the community. So much of the town's identity is wrapped up in that place. Once it closes its doors for good, many people are wondering what the ripple effects might be. The 198th -- and final -- commencement ceremony will take place Saturday, May 13th, 2023... what happens after that is anyone's guess.

The sale is being handled by A&G Real Estate Partners and includes the 27-acre main campus, in addition to the nearby 244-acre equestrian center.

A&G Real Estate Partners

It's not everyday a college goes up for sale. What does that entail? Who buys a college? What would be involved in starting your own? Without doing any of that research, I started fantasizing about what programs I'd offer if I ran it.

The programs I have in mind would provide zero real world experience, making it a perfect Liberal Arts college that would cost exorbitant amounts of money to attend.

So let's get started!

ADVANCED BIGFOOT HUNTING TECHNIQUES

Joe Scarnici / Getty Images

It's high time we found him. I don't understand how this isn't a bigger issue with people. I think if we truly pooled our resources together -- and got some of the best inquisitive young minds behind it -- we could finally find this hairy bastard. What are we waiting for?!

PRO WRESTLING STUDIES

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I think it was Vince McMahon who said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” It's essential today's young people understand important historical events like Hulk Hogan bodyslamming Andre the Giant, Ric Flair forming the Four Horsemen, The Undertaker being buried alive, etc. Enrollees will also learn the best ways to thwart a steel chair attack.

SWORD SMITHING

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Swords may not have as much practical use as they did in, say, the Dark Ages, but that doesn't mean making them is any less badass. If anything else, gamer dorks still like to display them on their walls.

SERIAL KILLER PSYCHOLOGY

Dennis Rader, The BTK Killer (Getty Images)

America has serial killer fever right now. Seems like every streaming platform's got a documentary on Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, The Night Stalker, etc. Why not take the best of these documentaries and turn it into a curriculum? Graduates will come away with some new and creative ways to hide things.

CALLIOPE MUSIC COMPOSITION

Calliope music is the most offensive, horrific music ever invented. In case you don't know what it is, it's that dreadful pipe-and-organ music you'd hear on a carousel. Scary circus stuff. Even though I hate it, I still think it would be funny to make more.

What's a program YOU'D like to see offered at the new Cazenovia College of Madness? As soon as I can rustle up a few hundred million, I promise we'll make it happen!

"Small But Mighty" 13 of the Smallest Colleges in Upstate New York

There are well over 100 colleges and universities spread across Upstate New York. Many of them are partners in the State University of New York system, others are private colleges. Our region can boast plenty of colleges with huge enrollments of 20,000 and even 30,000 students.

But what about the smaller ones?

Here is a list of 13 of the smallest colleges across Upstate New York. All have 1,000 students or less (one even has less than 100 students!). They represent a diverse landscape of learning specialties and curriculum. I mean, who knew there even was a New York State College of Ceramics?

These Are New York's 14 Most Expensive Colleges For 2022-2023

The Business Journals calculated total yearly cost for higher learning across America. Their total cost figures no financial aid, no in-state discounts for public universities, and the cost of books, room, board, and general living expenses.

By far, New York is the country’s the most expensive state for college, with more schools in the top 60 than any other state. We have 14: one in the top five, and three more in the top 20. Massachusetts finished second with 10 colleges in the most expensive 60. This is probably not a distinction to be particularly proud of, but as inflation continues this trend isn’t likely to slow down over the next year.

Live A Life Of Luxury In This Cazenovia Mansion

Check out this magnificent 6 bed, 4 bath estate in rural Cazenovia. You can enjoy the beauty of the countryside, or just stay inside and enjoy a life of luxury. Whatever you choose, you'll love to call this place home.

Filed Under: cazenovia college closing, cazenovia college sale

Categories: Articles, This And That, Weird News

5 Programs I Would Offer if I Bought Cazenovia College