Is this SERIOUSLY in a $1.5 Million Mansion?

There's only two reasons to live in a mansion: you and your friends found one abandoned in the woods and you're invoking squatter's rights, or you're a millionaire intent on rubbing it in everyone's faces. Money is silly, and blowing it on a castle is ridiculous. But if you're gonna do it, you'd better to it right. Otherwise it's my duty to throw a tantrum on the internet.

Mansion in Poughkeepsie, NY

Warning: I'm about to turn into a massive hater. Am I jealous? Maybe. Mad that I'll never be able to afford a home with a seven-figure price tag? Likely. But will that stop me from roasting this $1.45 million, 5,100 square-foot mansion? Hell no. It should be embarrassed of itself.

The Most Expensive House for Sale in Poughkeepsie, NY

Let's not forget to mention, at $1.45 million, this home is currently the most expensive listing on the market. That reputation is something to protect. How else can you be sure you're better than all your neighbors? When I first looked at this property, I was so caught up with the heated pool, movie theater, and multiple kitchens (all appropriate, possibly required, amenities for such a dwelling) that I almost missed one of the ridiculous details. It's in the living room.

Hudson Valley, NY Real Estate

Soaring ceilings, check. Immaculate hardwood floors that definitely made a dent in the rainforest? So far so good. The 10-foot windows round out the opulence. So what the hell is a treadmill doing there? You have a four car garage, a basement with a movie theater, air hockey table, and a pool table. You even have a third floor with an additional kitchen. You couldn't have tucked that monstrosity somewhere else? Are you the type of person who needs to make sure their maid isn't stealing while you get in your 10,000 steps? There are wonderfully charming sitting areas on either side of this monstrosity. Did you need to make sure you interrupted the line of sight with your homeless gym equipment? I digress...

Sorry, no I don't. That treadmill would make more sense in the backyard heated pool. That way you can plug it in, blow every circuit in the house, and start over after the mansion you don't deserve burns to the ground (I told you I'm a hater). If, and only if, you're a little more levelheaded than me, check out the rest of the house below. And keep scrolling for an actually abuse of wealth, the most expensive house for sale in Dutchess County, NY history: Ledgerock.