Dave Coombs' Sports Punch!

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” NOMINEES…

Marshawn Lynch

NUMBER ONE: Seahawks’ RB Marshawn Lynch (inset), for swinging a duffel bag at a reporter. Beast mode, indeed!…NUMBER TWO: Bears’ DE Lamarr Houston, for injuring his knee celebrating a sack! During a blowout loss. Excellent use of excessive hubris…NUMBER THREE: Singer Aaron Lewis, for botching the National Anthem at The World Series, after previously criticizing other Anthem singers (Hey buddy, It’s been a while…since I’ve liked any of your music!)…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” CANDIDATES…

Jay_Mohr-300x225

NUMBER ONE: The New York Jets, for acquiring Percy Harvin, who (A) has been a locker room cancer, (B) is perpetually injury-prone, and (C) is like a money pit with a pretty facade and will end up costing his new franchise in the long run…NUMBER TWO: FIFA, the governing body of soccer, for allowing the desert nation of Qatar to host the 2022 World Cup in the first place, and also may allow matches to be played at 1:00 AM in order to beat the heat. (That sound you hear is the cunning German National Team adjusting its Circadian rhythms!)…NUMBER THREE: Chicago Bears fans, for thinking, even fleetingly, that Jay Cutler is the answer at QB. You’d have better luck with Jay Mohr (inset), even in his current state, under center…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” NOMINEES…

Derrick Shelby

NUMBER ONE: Miami Dolphins’ DE Derrick Shelby (inset), for demanding a Z-Pak of antibiotics at the hospital after telling the nurse he had “raw-dogged” a hooker! On the same night the cops tazered him three times. Man, we want to party with you, cowboy!…NUMBER TWO: Bengals’ DB Adam Jones, for criticizing Mike Nugent after the kicker blew a chip shot field goal. Hey Adam, last we checked you were never a model citizen back when you were PACMAN Jones, and you were getting booked for public vandalism, suspicion of drug trafficking, drunk driving, misdemeanor conspiracy, assault, public gunplay, and MORE!…NUMBER THREE: The Philadelphia Eagles’ female fan who stole another Philly fan’s prosthetic leg at the Eagles-Giants game. Hey lady, return that leg! Or at least lend it to Mike Nugent for the rest of the year…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” CANDIDATES…

Jags

NUMBER ONE: The Jacksonville Jags’ mascot (inset), for ruffling feathers Sunday with his offensive Ebola sign. Too soon, dude. Next time pick on Cholera or the Bubonic Plague or something…NUMBER TWO: Kicker Alex Henery, for blowing his free agent shot in Detroit, missing ALL THREE of his field goal attempts Sunday with the Lions. [UPDATE: The Lions cut Henery and signed Matt "The DWI Guy" Prater]…NUMBER THREE: Browns’ linebacker Christian Kirksey, for his cruel forearm shiver to the helmet of Titans’ QB Jake Locker. With all the bad press on head trauma, the NFL should suspend Kirksey and make him change his first name to Heathen…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” CANDIDATES…

Jags

NUMBER ONE: The Jacksonville Jags’ mascot (inset), for ruffling feathers Sunday with his offensive Ebola sign. Too soon, dude. Next time pick on Cholera or the Bubonic Plague or something…NUMBER TWO: Kicker Alex Henery, for blowing his free agent audition in Detroit, missing ALL THREE of his field goal attempts Sunday with the Lions. Maybe they should just bring back 74-year-old Jason Hanson…NUMBER THREE: Browns’ linebacker Christian Kirksey, for his cruel forearm shiver to the helmet of Titans’ QB Jake Locker. With all the bad press on head trauma, the NFL should suspend Kirksey and make him change his first name to Heathen…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter