Dave Coombs' Sports Punch!

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” NOMINEES…

Derrick Shelby

NUMBER ONE: Miami Dolphins’ DE Derrick Shelby (inset), for demanding a Z-Pak of antibiotics at the hospital after telling the nurse he had “raw-dogged” a hooker! On the same night the cops tazered him three times. Man, we want to party with you, cowboy!…NUMBER TWO: Bengals’ DB Adam Jones, for criticizing Mike Nugent after the kicker blew a chip shot field goal. Hey Adam, last we checked you were never a model citizen back when you were PACMAN Jones, and you were getting booked for public vandalism, suspicion of drug trafficking, drunk driving, misdemeanor conspiracy, assault, public gunplay, and MORE!…NUMBER THREE: The Philadelphia Eagles’ female fan who stole another Philly fan’s prosthetic leg at the Eagles-Giants game. Hey lady, return that leg! Or at least lend it to Mike Nugent for the rest of the year…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” CANDIDATES…

Jags

NUMBER ONE: The Jacksonville Jags’ mascot (inset), for ruffling feathers Sunday with his offensive Ebola sign. Too soon, dude. Next time pick on Cholera or the Bubonic Plague or something…NUMBER TWO: Kicker Alex Henery, for blowing his free agent shot in Detroit, missing ALL THREE of his field goal attempts Sunday with the Lions. [UPDATE: The Lions cut Henery and signed Matt "The DWI Guy" Prater]…NUMBER THREE: Browns’ linebacker Christian Kirksey, for his cruel forearm shiver to the helmet of Titans’ QB Jake Locker. With all the bad press on head trauma, the NFL should suspend Kirksey and make him change his first name to Heathen…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” CANDIDATES…

Jags

NUMBER ONE: The Jacksonville Jags’ mascot (inset), for ruffling feathers Sunday with his offensive Ebola sign. Too soon, dude. Next time pick on Cholera or the Bubonic Plague or something…NUMBER TWO: Kicker Alex Henery, for blowing his free agent audition in Detroit, missing ALL THREE of his field goal attempts Sunday with the Lions. Maybe they should just bring back 74-year-old Jason Hanson…NUMBER THREE: Browns’ linebacker Christian Kirksey, for his cruel forearm shiver to the helmet of Titans’ QB Jake Locker. With all the bad press on head trauma, the NFL should suspend Kirksey and make him change his first name to Heathen…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” NOMINEES…

seinfeld-jerry

NUMBER ONE: Jets’ QB Geno Smith, for tossing F-bombs at fans after Sunday’s game. As a QB and a leader, that is not the way to comport yourself. The incident is an indication of bad character. You wouldn’t see Russell Wilson or Peyton Manning reacting in that fashion. We just plain don’t care for Geno as our franchise QB. (BTW, ditto Jay Cutler, EJ Manuel, and Cam Newton)…NUMBER TWO: Cardinals’ RB Jonathan Dwyer, for breaking his wife’s nose by head-butting her in the face! Really?!? These guys should all be put into an octagon and allowed to BE bullied by much larger/stronger/meaner humans. See how THEY like it. I’d watch THAT reality show…NUMBER THREE: Comedian Jerry Seinfeld (inset), for saying that retiring Yankees’ shortstop Derek Jeter shouldn’t have played at all in Fenway Park this past weekend. OK, Jerry, maybe YOU should shut the F up about sports and just cash comedy checks…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” NOMINEES…

NUMBER ONE: The Jets, for that time-out gaffe at the end of the loss to Green Bay. Someone should be IN ”time out” for depriving QB Geno Smith of one of the few NFL TDs he’ll have!…NUMBER TWO: Those LSU lovebirds who fell over while sucking face at the game and knocked over a row of fans minding their own business! Get a room! Or at least, take it outside to the parking lot…NUMBER THREE: Phillies’ pitcher Jon Papelbon, for his crotch-grab aimed at fans. That brings him right down to Roseanne Barr’s level!…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter