Dave Coombs' Sports Punch!

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” NOMINEES…

josina

NUMBER ONE: Alan Branch, for blowing his shot at the NFL by blowing a big number in a DWI. Right after he vomited out his driver’s side door during a traffic stop! The Buffalo Bills said buh-bye, but at least Branch has his Michigan education to fall back on…NUMBER TWO: Those complaining about grunting at tennis matches…Come on, man! It’s half the reason we’re watching the early rounds of the US Open…NUMBER THREE: ESPN’s Josina Anderson (inset), for reporting on Michael Sam’s NFL locker room shower habits. Bo-ring! How about taking that mic into some WNBA showers for some real action?!?…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” CANDIDATES…

Werth

NUMBER ONE: Oprah, for crying like such a baby when she took the ALS Ice Water Challenge. Toughen up, sister!…NUMBER TWO: Nats’ outfielder Jayson Werth (inset), busted doing 105 MPH in a 55. Lame. Five more MPHs and he could’ve DOUBLED the speed limit. Go big or go home, dude!…NUMBER THREE: The Flyers’ organist, for playing “The Stripper” for female contestants playing the between-periods Shoot the Puck game in Philadelphia! Critics are up in arms, but there’s an easy fix: just make him play the theme from “American Gigolo” for the guys…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” NOMINEES…

Dustin Johnson

NUMBER ONE: The football players at Air Force, for allegedly using roofies to take advantage of women sexually at a party! If we can’t get good behavior out of our service academy student-athletes, what chance is there for the kids at the big state school factories?…NUMBER TWO: Dustin Johnson (inset), golfer, cocaine and marijuana abuser. And now…home-wrecker! He’s making Tiger Woods look tame on his way to rehab…NUMBER THREE: Ria Buford, for trying to steal a car in Pittsburgh. A police car. With policemen in it. Don’t look now, Danica Patrick’s got competition!…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” CANDIDATES…

stephen-a-smith-doesnt-believe-you-face

NUMBER ONE: Stephen A. Smith (inset), not just for his insensitive comments about the Ray Rice situation, but for deciding to jump from his cushy job at ESPN and accept a position on satellite radio. We turned him OFF whenever he came on air. Now we don’t have to worry about it anymore!…NUMBER TWO: The Colorado Rockies, for misspelling their star Troy Tulowitzki’s name on the commemorative shirts they handed out at the ballpark on a night in his honor! Wow, good luck to the Rockies’ employee who signed off on the art work for that!…NUMBER THREE: NFL owner Jim Irsay, for attempting to buy loyal fans at the Colts’ training camp by giving out $100 bills! Probably could spend the dough more wisely on another offensive weapon for Andrew Luck…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter

THE “DUMMY OF THE WEEK” NOMINEES…

Adam-Jones-Bubble

NUMBER ONE: The heckler tossed out of the British Open for coughing in the middle of Rory McIlroy’s backswings. Think it’s possible the bookie who made the bet with McIlroy’s dad sent the dude to disrupt Rory on purpose? Regardless, these “tee-box screamers” need to go!…NUMBER TWO: Baltimore outfielder Adam Jones (inset), who forgot how many outs there were and cost the O’s a run on defense. Hey Adam, Yankees fans would like to thank you!…NUMBER THREE: The German soccer team, for damaging The World Cup trophy after partying a bit too hard. One one hand, it was only a replica. On the other hand, maybe there should be a more-fitting trophy for soccer’s biggest championship!…Catch more from Dave Coombs on Twitter